What’s Wrong With This Picture?

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I can understand. Being a parent isn’t easy, especially being a parent to a special needs child. You put in a lot of effort and you feel you deserve a little credit. So what’s wrong with posting something innocent like this?

I had a very interesting conversation not long ago with a fellow autistic adult. I observed (with some envy, I might add) that she seems very fluid in social interactions and doesn’t appear to have the difficulties I do. She told me that she puts forth a great effort to maintain that appearance and that it is truly exhausting, but then she told me the worst of it. She told me she feels no one loves her for who she is because no one actually knows the real person she is hiding inside. Then she observed that I seem to have close relationships in which people truly do know me and love me as I am. It’s funny how situations like this make you realize that you don’t really want what you thought you did and sometimes, you get reminded of the treasures you already have, which brings me back to the picture…

This message indicates that hiding the traits of autism is something to be proud of, which means that displaying autistic traits is not. This perpetuates the idea that one needs to be “normal” to fit in and be acceptable. This message also indicates that the parent should get a pat on the back because the child is doing something that requires a constant tremendous effort.

Honestly, I’d be happy to pat you on the back, cheer for you, hug you, or all three if you make efforts to communicate to your child that he or she is lovable as is with no strings attached. I think the important part, though, is to communicate this to the world. Please be mindful of what you share with the world and how you talk about your child. Trust me, your kids are listening.

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2 Comments

Filed under About Asperger's Syndrome

2 responses to “What’s Wrong With This Picture?

  1. Reblogged this on rootless introspection and commented:
    I very much agree it should not be shamefull to be yourself. Its very sad that apparently we have the choice between being loved for who we are not or being shunned by many people for who we are.

  2. DeAnna

    Once again I am forced to take a long hard look at myself and my own parenting. My children are “normal” and have lead me to many tears. Tears of joy and prayers that God keeps me from wringing their beautiful necks. In the end I have loved them for who and how they are as long as they were (insert my long list of expectations here). I always loved them, but did I like them? What my children have done is exactly as you’ve suggested. They have loved me for who I am without question. Children are amazing. Thank you for this writing. It is exactly what I needed to see this morning. ❤️

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